new blog thingy.

I know, I know, I’m inconsistent. And late in posting. But I wanted something suitable and comfortable…and I couldn’t think of anything to post until last night.

I…apologize?

Anyway, since it’s way past my bedtime, I will make this short and sweet. Lately I’ve realized how distracted and disorganized I’ve become. I’m usually not like this, but it’s now affecting my desk (you wouldn’t think that’s a really big thing, but a cluttered desk makes difficult work all the more frustrating), my scholastic motivation, and my relationship with God.

myy

I’m naturally organized, really. But I realized how messy my life’s been today that I nearly cried ๐Ÿ˜ฏ I’ve reached points like that before, but usually when I didn’t ace my tests and so on. What? I’m a perfectionist. One that still isn’t able to conform to the fact that nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how hard I work on it (referring to my grades here). Perfection is only in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has a different view on what perfection is. And the way I see it, no one else really does.

I guess mine is based primarily on fear. Fear that I won’t get to college, live a life that has been buried due to the fact I’m being homeschooled (it’s not bad, really), and fear that I will never fulfill my purpose here on earth. I don’t even know what it is. But there are so many things I want to do; so many dreams to come true.

And what’s worse is that I can’t think for the life of me what I want to be. Everyday I find something interesting, the next I realize the amount of crazy work, and then I realize I really have no passion for it. I want to do something that won’t make me feel like dreading work. I see many people do it, and it discourages me a lot. I don’t want that.

And as for being a perfectionist, it’s hard to sometimes accept the limit of my efforts. It’s creating a burden that I want to carry all on my own, and it’s weakening me. I need to just lay it down, and let God take care of it. All of it.

trust

I’ll trust Him.

In the wobbles,

Jojo

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photos. All belong to their respective owners.

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new year’s bucket list.

kui

I never really liked to do the whole ‘New Year’s Resolution’ thing. It sounds a lil’…off to me.

And you’ve got to admit, it fades off into the year eventually (more like after the first few weeks). And they also never really felt real to me. They sound more like, you know, New Year’s Wishes or something like that.

So with that, I’d like to introduce you to my New Year’s Bucket List! (It’s like a bucket list, but for the year ๐Ÿ˜‰ Kinda obvious wasn’t it?

Now, why New Year’s Bucket List? It sounds more realistic to me, it being for the year and all that, you know. Makes me more determined and has an adventure-y feel to it. Plus, the checklist part is the most exciting for me! I can’t wait to complete them ๐Ÿ˜€

So not to keep you waiting anymore, here it is!

MY NEW YEAR’S BUCKET LIST

1. Get closer to God.

closer

This year, I want to get closer to God. It’s first because this is very important to me, and I have also been feeling quite distant from Him. He’s still here with me and all that, but I’m not giving Him the attention He deserves. He has done so much for me, putting off 5-10 minutes every day won’t hurt. So, I’m starting with a daily devotional on Youversion.com, and it’s great! It has life applications as well, so everyday I have something new to practice, along with a Biblical example ๐Ÿ™‚

2. ย Lose weight.

huhu

Yup, reach my goal weight. I’ve been meaning to start last year, but it was kind of unrealistic due to *cough* some complications…and excuses…and constant binges ๐Ÿ˜ฏ But don’t worry! I’ve been getting great results so far, and I’ve lost about 8 Ibs. already!

3. Improve my piano/keyboard skills.

piano

I want to master three classical compositions and be able to play many of my favorite songs on the piano. Last year I wanted to do six, but I was lazy and kept putting it off for tomorrow and whatever. Not going to happen this year. Never!

4. Finish writing a book.

book

I’ve been struggling with keeping to one story without jumping from one idea to another. I mean, it doesn’t even last! So what I’ve figured out last year is that Evernote is a lifesaver. It’s great when I’m cruising the net and whatnot, and I suddenly get ideas *dramatic music*. It has helped me realize that I, after all, don’t need to stop one of my books to start on another. All I needed to do is a basic plan (title, subtitle, genre, pov, summary, excerpt, and notes) and leave it there. It’s great. I’ve got like, over 125 notes written on that app, haha…

Notebooks are great too! Extremely helpful when you suddenly find yourself in some boring place. And if you don’t happen to have a notebook when your idea generator is on, you can text it out, and save it as a draft message. I have tons on my phone ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hey, if you’re desperate enough to save your ideas, you’ll definitely find a way ๐Ÿ˜€

5. Get rid of my braces.

byb

It’s almost time up! Sadly though, the results have taken a different road. My teeth are not in the correct bite, and it’s getting complicated and all that stuff. Hopefully my dentist will do something about this andย fix it soon enough for me to remove my braces!

But if it doesn’t work out like that, I’m willing to spend another few months in braces in order to get ’em right. Didn’t slave my teeth for nothing!

6. Get a camera.

mac

I’m gonna beg my dad, y’know. I’ve been dreaming of having a DSLR camera of my own so I could take pictures and videos of things happening around me! Especially during this time of my baby sister’s life, she’s so comical it has to be captured to show her when she’s older. Mwahahaha.

7. Improve my sketching and drawing skills.

amazing pencil art

I’ve got to grasp this by the reins and sit down andย draw!ย I’ve neglected this for a bit too long and it’s causing me stress. I’d feel empty and useless, because I’ve really love this art form. Now I’m going to work on it! And yeah, that’s pencil art!

8. Wear a dress.

o

If you know me, I hate wearing dresses. And skirts. Horrible! Probably because of self-consciousness and worrying what other people will think of me. Well…that’s got to change. This year, I must atย least wear one dress!

Not that one though.

9. Smile more.

smilee

My sister is quite known around here for a radiant smile. It gets people going. No one can ever forget that about her. But as for me, I’m more solemn and grim (due to shyness, mostly), and typically as a result of excessive thinking or mental criticism of people around me. It just…happens. Sometimes it’s self-consciousness, other times it’s because I’m (over)thinking of the consequences of my next words. But in the end, it causes regret and usually doesn’t make anyone feel like approaching me and whatnot. Unless they know me quite well. Otherwise, if you were a stranger, you’d probably want to keep away from me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But that’s gonna change ๐Ÿ˜‰

Btw, ain’t that kid a cutie?!

10. Get out of my comfort zone and show myself something.

shy

I’d always promised myself that I won’t grow up to be a shybug; that, in college, I’d be known as a bold and fun and adventurous girl, like I have always daydreamed about when I isolate myself.

I hate being shy. There are many quotes about being shy and all that, saying that we’re just holding back our awesomeness so we don’t intimidate others (:D). True on some levels, but…false on many others. Sometimes it’s the only way we think we can save ourselves from embarrassment. But it’s not. It’s just a way to torment ourselves in an acceptable point of view–our point of view. Doesn’t it hurt? I feel like a trapped bird sometimes. It kills me inside to see how many opportunities whisk by because I’m convinced I’m just ‘shy’. That’s just an excuse. And it’s stupid. It’s annoying me to no end. So for this year I will, at least, just at least take a step out my little Circle of Shame and show myself that it’s still possible, that I’m still eligible of being freed from this…this horrible disease.

I mean, I just want to carry out one good conversation with someone I’ve first met and enjoy it without feeling awkward or self-conscious; without feeling exposed. I know that with God’s help, all of this is possible. If He created the skies and the oceans, if He provides food for the plants and animals, and if He has the power to defeat Satan, why won’t He help me?ย It’s possible. Everything’s possible with God ๐Ÿ™‚

And…if you’re wondering, yes, this is also a way I differ from my sister.

walt

Well, that’s all folks! Sorry for the extremely long post, but I hope you enjoyed it! I’m really going to work towards this, and I will be letting you in on my progress ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s for sure going to be hard, but it will be fun. After all, I’m not a quitter.

Have fun fun,

Jojo

P.S. What’s your New Year’s Bucket List?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photos. They belong to their respective owners.

for starters.

Welcome to my blog! This is actually my fifth attempt of setting up a blog, the other four I had no reason to even have one–I was illiterate in the field of blogging; a mere preteen (kudos to those that were more successful at that age). So excuse any form of slow learning here.ย But yay, I have a blog ๐Ÿ˜€

So, I love to write. It’s an escape from reality and all those other clichรฉd answers you might have heard and will keep hearing. It’s just like that with us, y’know? But I’ll never get tired of it ๐Ÿ™‚

huy (1)

When I was a kid, I loved the fact that I could–out of my very own head–combine words into paragraphs, and paragraphs into stories. It fascinated me with what I could come upย with, and how I could make my characters live such miserable lives and the devious power I had of toying with my reader’s emotions. It was crazy in an awesome way that made me feel great.

But sadly, ย my dad wasn’t really a big fan of fiction, so I began to shy away from showing him my works. You see, being ashamed of the fact that I wrote stories that weren’t true got me thinking that if my dad didn’t like them, they were illegal; and if anyone found out, I’d go to jail for a long, long time. And die there. Alone. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Up to this day, I really don’t know how that notion got into my head. It’s strange, the mind of a younglin…so many warped imaginations ๐Ÿ˜€

Anyhow, rest assured, friend, all that has changed. I am now aware that it is legal to throw your characters of a cliff, or have them suddenly choke on air ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ย Either way, the many advantages of being a writer has never failed me. Oh, the love ๐Ÿ˜‰

*ahem*

So I guess it ends here today ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s very short, but I hope you enjoyed my first post though! Writing has always been dear to me. I don’t consider myself as amazing as the other great writers out there. They are way better than me. But I do believe that if I try my best, I’ll get there, someday!

Happy living,

Jojo

 

Disclaimer: I do not own the photo. It belongs to its respective owner. Also, I kinda added something to it…