new blog thingy.

I know, I know, I’m inconsistent. And late in posting. But I wanted something suitable and comfortable…and I couldn’t think of anything to post until last night.

I…apologize?

Anyway, since it’s way past my bedtime, I will make this short and sweet. Lately I’ve realized how distracted and disorganized I’ve become. I’m usually not like this, but it’s now affecting my desk (you wouldn’t think that’s a really big thing, but a cluttered desk makes difficult work all the more frustrating), my scholastic motivation, and my relationship with God.

myy

I’m naturally organized, really. But I realized how messy my life’s been today that I nearly cried 😯 I’ve reached points like that before, but usually when I didn’t ace my tests and so on. What? I’m a perfectionist. One that still isn’t able to conform to the fact that nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how hard I work on it (referring to my grades here). Perfection is only in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has a different view on what perfection is. And the way I see it, no one else really does.

I guess mine is based primarily on fear. Fear that I won’t get to college, live a life that has been buried due to the fact I’m being homeschooled (it’s not bad, really), and fear that I will never fulfill my purpose here on earth. I don’t even know what it is. But there are so many things I want to do; so many dreams to come true.

And what’s worse is that I can’t think for the life of me what I want to be. Everyday I find something interesting, the next I realize the amount of crazy work, and then I realize I really have no passion for it. I want to do something that won’t make me feel like dreading work. I see many people do it, and it discourages me a lot. I don’t want that.

And as for being a perfectionist, it’s hard to sometimes accept the limit of my efforts. It’s creating a burden that I want to carry all on my own, and it’s weakening me. I need to just lay it down, and let God take care of it. All of it.

trust

I’ll trust Him.

In the wobbles,

Jojo

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photos. All belong to their respective owners.

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6 thoughts on “new blog thingy.

  1. Many blessings to you as you step into your life’s work. It’s so tough to live in ambiguity! I was recently meeting with a friend and discussing this very subject –what should I do with my life. Her answer – instead of asking “what should I do,” which feels like the million dollar question, ask “what are my passions and gifts?” Build intentions around those things to develop an authentic life. In the words of Joseph Campbell, follow your bliss. Great post. πŸ™‚

    • Aww thanks for the tip and encouragement! I’m so going to do that πŸ™‚ I love to draw and help people…so we’ll see what comes out of that πŸ˜€ Haha πŸ™‚

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