flashback; flashnow.

It’s…been ages.

To apologize or not to apologize?

Thousands–I mean thousands–of things have been happening to me, about me, and with me. I feel so unproductive. It’s nearing the end of the year, and my heart just breaks at the thought of my New Year’s Bucket List, and I know for sure that I’ve barely accomplished anything. I want to cry, crawl into a hole, and just cease to exist for like, two minutes so that I can take a break.

Then again, we all know how crazy that would be. Where’d we go if we didn’t exist for those two minutes?

Gasp.

Plot bunny. How unfortunate.

Anyway, I think that’ll make a great short story to get my writer’s self going. Not only has school been unproductive, writing has as well. I’ve barely got the first chapter, but I’m writing one today. I’ve decided to just suck it up and get going. Or else, I’d never get anything done.

Same with Physics, and Math and English and Bible Survey and…oh, life hurts sometimes.

But I can do this, right? I’ve been positive since the beginning of the year that everything’s gonna be all right, God’s way or my way, doesn’t matter.

And it’s weird.

I mean, awful things are happening around the world. Ebola, ISIS, kidnappings and beheadings–it’s traumatizing. Yet, even with me, the sadness, the tears and so on–I just have this ‘peace’ in me that this year will end well. Things will be better.

And I’m getting there. I will get there.

I’ve had amazing times this year: very first mission trip, completion of two years with braces (even though I still have them…my teeth ain’t that perfect yet *groan*), losing weight and gaining it back (hahahahha), and bonding with people I never thought I would bond with (they’re still annoying though).

It was fun. And that’s what’s pushing me.

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Next year will be extremely busy though: SAT, college preparation, etc. And I’m just sixteen. So scared. Really…scared…

But the Lord is my strength. And I will lean on Him.

God bless ❤

Happy living,

Jojo

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