new year’s bucket list–retrospection. (part i)

I’ve decided to just suck it up and write a post and not wait for like, the very last day of December before going through what I’ve accomplished this year. I’m really upset about finding out though. I feel so…bleurgh ūüė•

Anyway, lets’ just see how far I’ve gone in this thing.

1. Get closer to God.


Status: Check.

Comments: I’ve really seen how ah-cawfusnrirgs-mazing God’s been to me this year. It’s crazy. It’s just mind-boggling. I mean, I KNOW that God is good. But when He blesses me or lets certain things come together I just sit there like


And He be like


And it just feels so good to know that as His child, He’s always be thinking of me. I feel so blessed. Things haven’t gone my way, but how many times have they? Plus, it would’ve been probably a major setback for me so, yeah.¬†I mess up way too many times. I mean, I trip on my own feet. Like, nu-uh.

2.  Lose weight.


Status: Check.

Comments: THANK GOD I DIDN’T SAY HOW MUCH. I’ve most certainly lost weight, using the Jillian Michaels workout. But I bummed out on the third week–I was so close! Things got really busy and tense since it’s a festive period and such, and school as well and blahhhh–too many freaking¬†responsibilities. BUT–you know how they say it takes like what, four weeks before you start noticing the changes in your body, six (or is it eight?) before others start noticing it? Something like that. Anyway, yeah. I’ve binged for like 4/5 weeks now and when I went back on the scale guess what?



I was like “Whaaaaaa?”

Because I’ve been so stressed and busy and I haven’t been hungry so much, and I have a terrible broken/loose bracket and wire on my right jaw, and my wisdom tooth’s growing on my left, so it’s not been easy eating at all. Festive periods in this place are hard to get anyone to help you do a simple job and such. But anyway, it feels good. I mean, yesterday it was emphasized when this lady that I met on the mission trip came to the get-together and quietly pulled me aside and asked, “Hey, what diet are you doing?”

I’m like: O.O’

And she’s like: Seriously!

And I’m like: …I haven’t been doing any diet! I stopped like, exercise weeeeeeeeks ago.

And then my sis comes in like: >:I Your muscles are getting bigger. (And she was doing the Michaels’ with me and gave up too.)

And the lady just looked and smiled with some sort of admiration saying that I looked so elegant and stuff and I was just there thinking “But I feel so heavy and all jiggly and stuff what are you telling me woman?!”

Anyway, it happened. I can’t wait to start working out again bahahaha.

(My thoughts are too long o.0)

3. Improve my piano/keyboard skills.


Status: Unknown

Comments: Seriously, I have no idea if I’ve improved my piano skills or something. BUT–let me tell this freaking crazy story. Ready? I dont’ care!

Okay so it all started with my little¬†sister’s toy. At the time she was a baby (two years old) she had this toy that played this LOVELY composition and I fell head over fingers on it. So one day my mom just gave it away. I was like, “NONONONONONONO” and was so devasted because now I’d never know the name of that piece. So I searched. I played online pianos with the little I could remember so that they could find it for me. I searched the company’s website what songs they used in their products. I SEARCHED EVERYWHERE. And then, I gave up.

It was only when I came across this sad wattpad short story about this poor brother and his sister that I found the song. It was on the side, and the picture looked decent. So I clicked on it.


Awesomeness, unfolded. I cried. I was so overwhelmed I started laughing. Then I decided to learn to play it. So I got my best friend, YouTube, and it taught me the song. But I only learned half of it. For two years, every time I get on the piano, it’d be the first thing I’d play. But I never finished it.

Okay, so here’s the awesome part.

A day before the Christmas (our church had a Christmas service) the service organizer called me and tried to ‘sing’ out the kind of song¬†his son said I could play. I laughed a lot, and then agreed to play, although I knew that meant more stress (because my sis and I were also presenting a special song for the service, and we only agreed on a suitable song like, two days before the event) and THEN that meant having to learn the OTHER half of the song.


I was so frustrated. School, cake, lasagna, music, school, cake, lasagna, music. I was pulled every which way that day before Christmas, and I just couldn’t handle it. And I was so nervous because I was going to do it in front of the church, even though I knew there couldn’t be too many people (but who could say for sure, this year they put a lot of effort into it).

So…yeah. Check..ish? I mean, I memorized two pieces (well, one and a half) in like, three days and it came out well. So, hurrah!

4. Finish writing a book.


Status: I don’t even want to talk about it.

Comments: Even a stupid short story can’t make it on this list. But God help me. This year has been the messiest, eye-opening year of my LIFE, and I wish I hadn’t take it for granted. Now 2015 looks so daunting I don’t even want to go there.





Yayyyy. I finished a book! Bahahaha. Shh, I know, not one that anyone can read but I finished right? I finished it for the year! I’ve been writing almost everyday, have over 50,000 words worth of meh, and yeah! (Mhm I be using Word). So yes, in a way, I have finished a book? Well, almost! Wooh! Journal for the 2014, you’re on the way!!

*dance dance danceeeeee*

5. Get rid of my braces.


Status: Still scraping my cheeks.

Comments: So…yeah, my teeth are in no condition to be relieved of my little bracketed friends. And it’s also created this horrible lopsidedness to my face. Now when I smile one eye is squinted and the other is just glared at you. One cheek is higher than the other and more defined and…ugh, it’s such a mess. I wouldn’t see it on a mirror. I had to discover this the hard way–using a ‘true’ mirror. I downloaded it on my phone and cried in depression for two days at the thought of people even looking at me. How can they even stand my ugliness? I bothered my siblings for a whole week trying to find justice in the way I look. “Is my cheek bigger?” This and that. It annoyed them to bit. And well, I just soon had to accept the truth–I’m not as pretty as I thought I was. But somehow I’ve come to accept it. Though I wish that when I smile, my lopsidedness would lean to my left and not my right, ’cause like almost all the cute peeps have that, you know?


(to be continued. gotta go pack!)